Category Archives: Peen Commandments
Never mistakenly watch the news during a hot makeout session. There’s nothing more annoying than the angry voice of a news anchor announcing the accidental death of a 3yr old hit by its own Mother to send your uterus and all neighboring penises into state of WTF?! Allitereation of the A’s is strictly coincidental.
Just as Galileo paved the way for modern science, Brett Farve has paved the way for modern penises everywhere! This is the moment I’ve been waiting for since I got kicked out of preschool for making the little boys show their weenuses in exchange for chocolate milk and sweet cakes. Not a bad deal, eh?
Long gone are the days when you had to freeze frame the VCR just to see the shadow of the shadow of the shadow of a penis. Nowadays, you can’t open the world wide web without a Weiner slapping you in the face. Thanks Farve! Not only has ‘notorious peenophile’ been updated to your wiki page, but you have generously bestowed a new platform of communication for Krull the warrior king! And why is it that the male tickle lizard brings out the worst in scandals than your typical nip slips?
Do we blame Lorena Bobbit? I mean, after she humiliated that poor schlong, penises everywhere hit the panic button and ran to the nearest underground bunker to hide out. You didn’t see another wanker for years until that woman was tarred and stoned for her blasphemy!
Now thanks to entertainments like; Spartacus: Blood & Sand, Spartacus: Gods of the Arena, Calgula, Hangover I & II, Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Bruno and Wild Things, dingle-dangles can stand soft, hard, shy or proud. So slap a cape on your Captain love commander boys, this is its moment to shine! Iz haz sweet cakes!
**UPDATE** THIS JUST IN:
It’s like when Kris Kringle pulls out a present for surprised guests.
Joe Man Jellow will drop trau to play Big Dick Richie in Steven Soderbergh’s
movie masterpiece, Magic Mike. Who wouldn’t want to be the master of this piece?! Retorical, don’t answer.
We almost had a panic button emergency with that penis disposal incident, but we’re definitely back in trau.
Here’s a snippet of Spartacus thanks to majolucylawless! No peen slips though, but the song is catchy!